


Time Heals (but will you?)

by gaitorbait55



Series: Hunter's Wolf [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Clexa, F/F, hunter!Lexa, hunter!anya, time jumps, werewolf!Raven, werewolf!clarke, werewolf!finn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 14:12:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5420087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaitorbait55/pseuds/gaitorbait55
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It took almost a whole year to track down the blonde werewolf.</p><p>One whole year of sleepless nights. </p><p>One whole year of heartache.</p><p>One whole year of deep pain.</p><p>But she was finally found. And Lexa didn’t know whether to hate her for the pain she’s caused; or to forgive because the love she’s held for the blonde since they met never went away.</p><p>(Sequel to "I'm sorry (for everything I've done)")</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Heals (but will you?)

**Author's Note:**

> IT'S FINALLY DONE AGHHHH.
> 
> This took me forever and a day lol. There are a lot of time jumps in this, the italicized words are flashbacks. 
> 
> Clexa angst, but it has a happy ending.

It took almost a whole year to track down the blonde werewolf.

 

One whole year of sleepless nights.

 

One whole year of heartache.

 

One whole year of deep pain.

 

But she was finally found. And Lexa didn’t know whether to hate her for the pain she’s caused; or to forgive because the love she’s held for the blonde since they met never went away.

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

_“What the hell was that out there?!” Anya yelled at the injured brunette once they returned to base and after Lexa was patched up. Lexa looked at anywhere but her friend. “There two of them and you didn’t want me to shoot! Are you out of your fucking mind?! They could have fucking killed you branwada! Imagine if we hadn’t had gotten there in time? What would have happened then? You would have been killed that’s what. You would have died and-”_

_“I should’ve known…” Lexa said softly, stopping Anya mid rant._

_“Of course you should’ve known better.” Anya said with a roll of her eyes. The younger girl just shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut._

_“The signs were so clear now.” Lexa said, mostly to herself, not paying attention at all to the other girl in the room. “I should have fucking known. Why didn’t I see them?”_

_“Lexa?” Anya asked with a frown, realizing her friend was talking about something different. “What are you talking about?”_

_“Should have fucking know she was a goddam werewolf.” Lexa muttered, running her hands through her hair._

_“Wait? Who? Who was a werewolf?” Anya asked with slightly wide eyes._

_“Clarke…” Lexa said, exhaling a shaky breath and it was then that Anya could see the tears welling up in her eyes; threatening to fall._

_“She…is a werewolf?” Anya blinked a few times in shock before her brain connected the dots. “The blonde werewolf...that was her, wasn’t it?” She asked softly._

_“Yeah…” Lexa nodded, closing her eyes again. A few tears fell down her cheeks. “How could I be so stupid Anya? I let..a werewolf get that close to me..._

_“Hey,” Anya said softly, going to sit next to the brunette on the bed. “You didn’t know. It’s not your fault.”_

_“It is...I shouldn’t have let her get so close…” Lexa let out a small sob._

_“Lex, you can’t beat yourself up. You didn’t know. She put up a good show. Hell I believe it just as much as you did.” Anya told her, putting an arm around the shaking girl._

_“You don’t understand…” Lexa whispered._

_“Don’t understand what?” Anya asked softly._

_“Anya...I...I..”Lexa took a deep breathe. “I think I love her….”_

______________________________________________________________________________

 

“We have her Commander.” Echo’s voice was heard through the earpiece. Lexa, who was sitting in a coffee shop with her mentor Anya, stopped mid sip and widened her eyes.

 

“A-are you sure?” Lexa asked back, wanting to make sure they were absolutely right before she got even a lick of hope up.

 

“Positive Commander. We wouldn’t be telling unless we were 100% sure.” Echo replied.

 

“Well then.” Anya said, standing up from where she was sitting across of Lexa. “Let’s go get that girl of yours Commander.”

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

_“Lex. You know I love and support you, but you do really think this is a good idea?” Anya asked as she watched the young brunette gather gear and strap them onto her._

_“Probably not.” Lexa replied while putting on the last bit of her gear._

_“But why? Why go through all this work for one wolf?” Anya asked with a frown. “It’s alright been a whole month Lex...don’t you think it’s time to move on? If we haven't found her yet..perhaps we won’t be able to..”_

_“Anya...you know why I’m not giving up.” Lexa said with a sigh, her eyes downcast._

_“Yeah, yeah. I know.” Anya pursed her lips. “What are you going to do if...when we find her?”_

_“I...don’t know yet.” Lexa replied honestly. “I haven't thought that far yet. Right now I can’t think of anything past finding her. I’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”_

_“Alright. You’re the Commander.” Anya sighed. “She better be worth it Lexa.” She said before leaving the room._

_She is. Much more than I thought._

______________________________________________________________________________

 

“So have you figured out what you’ll say once we get there?” Anya asked as she drove them towards the base.

 

“You want the truth or the lie?” Lexa asked, looking out the window.

 

“Truth dumbass.” Anya grunted.

 

“No.” Lexa replied. “Still have no idea. Kind of hoping the words will come to me once I see her.”

 

“For your sake, I hope so.” Anya said softly. They were quiet for the rest of the ride.

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

_Five months into the search and still nothing. They had searched the city and every town closests to them and then some, but to no avail. She had let the rest of the team off duty from tracking the blonde. But Lexa continued. Even though there seemed to be no hope, Lexa still believed she could find her. She was a stubborn ass woman and was definitely showing her stubbornness when it came to finding the blonde._

_“Lex.” Lexa heard through her com piece in her ear as she leapt from building to building. She was in Ark City, about a 14 hour drive away from Polis._

_“Yeah Anya?” Lexa asked as she safely lept onto another building. She paused to catch her breathe and listen to her friend._

_“How are you still up?” She heard Anya sigh. “It almost 4am.”_

_“I haven’t been able to sleep much anyways.” Lexa responded. “Might as well do something productive.”_

_“Something productive as in searching for blondie or hunting werewolves?” Anya asked a bit irritated._

_“Both, and you know it.” Lexa bit back. Lexa knew she couldn’t just keep searching for her blonde lover, so she took up ‘jobs’ along the way. So far she had managed to kill 6 wolves and was currently on the trail of another._

_“Yeah, I know.” Anya sighed. “Just don’t lose your head out there otherwise I’ll bring you back and rip it off again.”_

_“Aren’t I supposed to be giving the commands?” Lexa chuckled._

_“That rule applies to everyone except me.” Anya stated factly._

_“Yeah, yeah I know.” Lexa shook her head, amused. “I’ll check back in in a few hours.”_

_“Copy that.” Anya said before there was silence once again._

_Lexa pulled a bottle of water from the back on her back. After taking a few sips she put it back and stretched her muscles before walking to the edge of the building. She put a foot on it and leaned on her knee, looking down the building. She took out the special night vision goggles she was given by their tech man, Kyle Wick, and put them on. She turned them on to the body heat mode and looked around carefully. She could see numerous bodies in the buildings around her, each at a normal human body temperatures. She pursed her lips as she looked around, searching for that one that was different than the rest._

_Just as she was about to put the goggles back and continue on her way, she saw a small flash of dark red at the corner of her eye. She whipped her head around and saw the dark red figure, the shape of a wolf, was walking not to far away._

_“Gotcha.” Lexa smirked as she kept the goggles on her head and made her way towards where the beast was. She lept a few more buildings before she was actually able to near where she needed to be. She leapt down the side of the building and onto the fire escape. She saw the wolf step into the alley, watching it pause and sniff the air. A wave of deja vu hit her but she brushed it off. She had been in similar situations before, this one would be no different. But why did it feel like it would be the same and different all at once…_

_The wolf lumbered down the alleyway and just as it was about to pass, Lexa jumped down onto it’s back; digging a dagger into it’s back. The beast roared and reared back, bucking Lexa off. The brunette landed on her feet and looked up with a glare. But the sight made her lose her breathe, the glare lost._

_Green eyes found bright blue, and the world seemed to stop._

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

“Where is she?” Lexa asked as soon as she stepped foot into the building.

 

“She’s downstairs.” Lincoln reported.

 

“Show me her. Show me Clarke.” Lexa demanded, her jaw clenched. Lincoln nodded and lead the Commander through the building and down to the lower levels where they would keep the wolves if needed. They walked down, past the normal levels of containment, and down to the very bottom level. Lexa’s frown deepened the more they walked.

 

“Why is she in this level?” She asked as they got close.

 

“She was very difficult to keep contained.” Lincoln said nervously. “She had already broken out of two of the rooms in the upper level. So far this is the only room she hasn’t broken out of yet.” Lexa only nodded in response. They stopped in front of the door containing Clarke.

 

“No one enters. Am I clear?” Lexa commanded.

 

“But, Commander-” Lincoln started to protest.

 

“I said; am I clear?” Lexa said through gritted teeth. Lincoln hesitated but nodded with a sigh. Lexa gave him a slight nod before pushing the door open. She kept her gaze down as she stepped in and shut the door behind her. Once it shut she took a deep breath and looked up. Her breathe caught in her throat when her green eyes caught light blue ones staring right back at her.

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

_“C-clarke?” Lexa whispered, taking a step forward. The wolf lowered its head, keeping it’s eyes on the girl. The wolf let out a soft whine as it took a step back. It’s ears were back against it’s skull, tail dropped._

_“Clarke…” Lexa shuffled forward as it shuffled back. The wolf shook its head slightly, as if asking Lexa to stay back. “Clarke please..” The wolf looked up and Lexa could see the blue eyes she came to love, look so broken. It gave another soft whine before it turned and started climbing the building._

_“Clarke wait!” Lexa shouted as she went after her, but to no avail. The wolf was just too  fast. She chased Clarke for the next half hour, but lost her trail a few miles out of Ark city._

___________

_“I was so close Anya.” She muttered, curled up in her bed._

_“Are you sure it was her?” The taller girl asked, curled up next to Lexa._

_“I’m sure.” Lexa nodded. “It was her.” Lexa nodded again. She knew it was Clarke, and any hope she had that dwindled came back at full force. She was determined more than ever to search for the blonde._

_“I will find her Anya.” She stated before falling asleep; blonde hair and blue hairs filling her dreams._

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Green eyes scanned over the blonde. Clarke was chained down on a chair; shackles around her neck, waist, wrists, and ankles. A metal muzzle was over her face. Lexa walked over slowly and reached up to take the muzzle off, making Clarke flinch. Lexa paused for a moment, looking the blonde in the eye, and only after getting a small nod did she continue on her task. She unclipped the muzzle and slid it off her face. Clarke rotated her jaw slightly, stretching it out as Lexa put down the muzzle on the floor and took a seat in the chair a few feet away from Clarke.

 

They stared at each other in silence for what seemed like hours.

 

“How do you know I won’t attack you without that muzzle.” Clarke broke the silence, her voice a bit hoarse.

  
  


“Because you know numerous guards would come in here- to defend me and take you down.” Lexa replied. “And...I know you wouldn't..” The brunette saw Clarke clenched her fists, knowing she was right.

 

“How did you find me?” Clarke asked, keeping her gaze on the ground.

 

“We had...help.” Lexa said hesitantly.

 

“..help?” Clarke asked with narrowed eyes. Lexa nodded, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees.

 

“Yes...from several people.” Lexa said with a small shake of her head. “They don’t wish to be named.” Clarke grunted in reply. It was silent for a few more moments again.

 

“Why...why did you keep looking for me..?” Clarke asked in a small voice, looking down again.

 

“Clarke…” Lexa started but was cut off.

 

“Was it because I was a wolf on the loose?” Clarke said angrily.  “Couldn’t have one running around so you wanted to finish the job; personally?”

 

“I wasn’t...that’s not why we..I came after you.” Lexa said gently, but firmly.

 

“Then why?” Clarke snapped. “Why me? There’s so many wolves out there for you to chase. Why me?”

 

“Because they aren’t the ones I fell in love with.” Lexa blurted, looking at the ground as tears stung her eyes.

 

“Lexa…” Clarke said softly, biting her lip. “You shouldn't….you can’t love me…”

 

“Why?” Lexa asked. “Is it because you are a wolf?”

 

“More than that….you don’t know what I’ve done...I’ve killed so many. I’ve killed your people...my people.. I’m soaked in human blood…” Clarke said, her voice shaking.

 

“I know…” Lexa murmured. Clarke’s head snapped up, eyes wide.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

_“I was so close.” Lexa muttered as she paced. “How can one wolf evade me for so long?”_

_“She’s good at hiding.” Anya stated from her laying position on Lexa’s bed, lazily flipping through a model magazine._

_“Thank you captain obvious.” Lexa said with a roll of her eyes; making Anya grunt back. “What am I missing? There has to be something missing?” Her brain racking through every piece of knowledge she had._

_“Anya…” Lexa started, an idea forming._

_“Mhhm..?” Anya hummed without looking up._

_“Do we still have that female wolf under lockdown?” Lexa asked, rubbing her chin as she thought._

_“Uh...yeah..?” Anya said with a frown, finally putting the magazine down. “I don’t know why we haven’t killed it yet.”_

_“She’s in level 3, correct?” Lexa asked, grabbing her coat and gear just in case._

_“Yeah…?” Anya sat up, watching the brunette gather her things. “Lex….why do I feel like I’m not going to like this idea you have?”_

_“I’m going to go talk to her.” Lexa stated._

_“And that’s why.” Anya grumbled as she got up. “Alright, let’s go.”_

_“...you’re not going to try and stop me?” Lexa asked, pausing at the door with a frown._

_“No. I’ve tried to stop you from doing things before. You only do them later when I’m not around.” Anya said with a roll of her eyes. “I’ve learned my lessons. Now let’s go before I change my mind.” And with that, Anya walked out the door. Lexa followed, a small smile gracing her lips._

____________

_“The fuck do you guys want?” The female wolf spat out as soon and Lexa and Anya sat down._

_“Watch your tongue before I have it cut out.” Anya growled out. The wolf just rolled her eyes._

_“We need your help, Raven.” Lexa stated._

_“Oh, my help?” Raven sneered. “After you’ve chained me up for god knows how long and hunted my kind for years; you want my help?”_

_“Yes.” Lexa simply said._

_“I’ve only got one response.” Raven leaned forward as much as she could. “Fuck off.”_

_“I said you better watch that tongue of yours.” Anya snarled as she stood up, towering over the sitting wolf. “I won’t ask again nicely.”_

_“That was nice?” Raven snorted. “I’d like to see delighted.”_

_“Enough.” Lexa said through gritted teeth; glaring at the two of them until Anya sat down. “Raven. We need your help finding Clarke.” The wolf seemed to freeze as soon as the name came out._

_“Why do you want Griffin?” Raven asked with a sneer, then her eyes gleamed wickedly. “Wait a second.” The dark skinned brunette turned to Lexa.  “You’re the chick Griffin’s been all giddy about.” Lexa glanced at Anya, and that was all the confirmation Raven needed. “Oh this is great, just too great.”_

_“What is?” Lexa demanded._

_“Of course G would fall for a fucking hunter. Guess only monsters could love each other.” Raven said with a smirk. Lexa bristled at her statement._

_“I am no monster.” Lexa snarled. “The only monsters are-”_

_“Werewolves. Yeah, yeah. Heard it all before. But think of this;” Raven said, tilting her head a bit. “What if this world was reversed? What if werewolves were the main species and humans were the rare ones? What if humans were the monsters and not the wolves?” Lexa and Anya glanced at each other, speechless for once. “Werewolves and humans are no different from each other; other than our looks. Some are good, some are bad. Hunters just kills us all without a second glance. It’s why we fight back. How would you feel if you had to feel like everyday was your last?”_

_“I...we..” Lexa stuttered._

_“Never thought of it that way huh?” Raven asked, sounding more hostile than before. “Typical hunters. Every last one of you things we are mindless beasts.”_

_“Watch-”_

_“-my tongue, yeah yeah.” Raven rolled her eyes. “So what do you want blondie for anyways?”_

_“My reasons are mine and mine only.” Lexa said, crossing her arms._

_“Honestly I don’t give a flying fuck about your reasons. I just hope that when you do find her you put a bullet between the bitch’s eyes.” Raven growled._

_“Why..?” Anya asked, eyes narrowed. They had never seen a werewolf hate on another (or show this much feeling before) but then again there were a lot of things they had witnessed from werewolves these past few months that they’d never encountered before either. (Clarke included.)_

_“She never told you, did she?” Raven asked, a sick smile gracing her lips. “Of course. I mean why would she. She didn’t tell you she was one of us, so why would she tell you this.”_

_“Tell us what?” Lexa demanded, getting impatient._

_“Has Clarke ever mentioned her parents to you?” Raven asked, looking directly at Lexa._

_“Of course she has.” Lexa frowned. “Her parents died by-”_

_“A werewolf.” Raven nodded. “But not just any werewolf.” Lexa’s eyes widened a fraction, getting Raven’s double meaning._

_“No...Clarke...she would never-” Lexa shook her head, trying to deny the truth._

_“She’s a werewolf isn’t she?” Raven sneered. “Werewolves are capable of anything and everything.”_

_“Shut up.” Lexa snarled, taking a step closer. Anya put a hand on her shoulder so she wouldn’t continued farther._

_“Not the first time she’s killed. First her father, then her mother. After that it was a boy, Wells I think was his name? Then my mate.” Raven growled out. “Not all werewolves are monsters, but she was one of the true ones.”_

_“I said shut up!” Lexa snapped, punching Raven across her jaw. Raven just grinned back._

_They didn’t get much out of her after that._

______________________________________________________________________________

 

“Lex….” Clarke opened her mouth, but she couldn't find the words. Lexa watched her, giving her time to think. “How...how much do you know…?”

 

“I know that you killed your family...a boy names Wells..and another.” Lexa said after a moment. Clarke pursed her lips and looked away. Lexa could see the wheels in her head thinking away as the blonde thought.

 

“Clarke…” Lexa said gently. “Why did you leave?”

 

“I...I couldn’t…” Clarke said shakily. “I don’t want you to die too…”

 

“What do you mean?” Lexa asked patiently.

 

“Everyone around me, that I care about, ends up dieing or hating me.” Clarke whispered, shutting her eyes so that the tears that were building up wouldn't fall. “ And it’s always my fault.”

 

“Clarke...I have to know...the killings..what was the purpose of behind them?” Lexa asked.

 

“What does it matter?” Clarke asked with a small groan. “I killed, that makes me a killer”

 

“It matters to me.” Lexa said soft, but firmly.

 

“My parents..they were human; I was human..but then I got bitten and I never told them…” Clarke started; Lexa could see tears in the blonde’s eyes. “Everything was fine...until I lost control.” Clarke shut her eyes, squeezing them tight. “I lost control..and they ended up paying the price.” Lexa watched Clarke’s shoulders shake as a small sob escaped her. She opened her mouth to respond to the tied up blonde but Clarke continued before she could. “Then Wells came..he was nice. He was friendly and he knew _what_  I was…”

 

“What happened to him..?” Lexa prodded gently.

 

“He..was attacked by another werewolf..I tried to save him. But..when humans get bitten by werewolves, two things can happen.” Clarke explained. “Either you turn into a wolf...or you die, slowly.” There was a pause as Clarke swallowed the lump in her throat. “Wells...he had lost to much blood...He asked me to end it..with my own fangs..” Tears were openly flowing down the girl’s cheeks, making Lexa’s heart break even more. “So I did...I didn’t want to..he was my best friend.. but we both knew he wouldn't have made it..”

 

“What happened with the last one..Raven’s mate..?” Lexa asked after a few minutes.

 

“Finn…?” Clarke asked, blinking in surprise that Lexa even knew that. “How did you..”

 

“We caught your friend..Raven. She told us..a few things..” Lexa told her. Clarke nodded an inch before wetting her lips.

 

“Finn is..was Raven’s mate...and partially mine..” Clarke said softly. “He...when I first moved here, it was right after Wells’ death. I needed a place to stay, a new start.. Finn was the first one I met here, and he was wolf too. We became friends..and soon it became more than that.” Lexa nodded to her to let her know she wa listening. “It wasn’t until later that I found out about Raven..he and her had been mates for years, and he neglected to let me know…”

 

“Is that why she dislikes you?” Lexa asked, generally curious.

 

“Part of it…” Clarke said with a small nod. “Lately food for wolves have been scarce, and a lot of wolves have been going into Blood Rage..Finn was one of them...He attacked the city, Polis...killing 18.”

 

“He was the one me and my team were chasing that night I first saw you…” Realization dawned on Lexa.

 

“Yeah...I killed him so that he wouldn't have been killed by hunters..” Clarke said, refraining from saying ‘you’ instead of hunters. “I just...I loved him so much at one point..” She said, her eyes filled with pain. “And the Blood Rage hurts us, just as much we hurt others. When we go into Blood Rage, it’s like nothing matters but blood and food. It feels like we are getting torn from the inside out and we need something, anything, to stop the pain. And if you can’t stop the pain..then you die.”

 

“It..sounds like you’ve been in it before.” Lexa commented.

 

“I have..” Clarke said softly. “My parents.” Lexa’s gaze softened tremendously.

 

“Clarke…” Lexa said softly. Before this moment, she had no idea what werewolves’ lives were like. Getting a glimpse, even from just one, made Lexa realize that wolves have it as tough as humans; perhaps even worse.

 

“Don’t Lexa.” Clarke said, shaking her head softly. “Just...make it quick. I deserve to die.”

 

“W-what?” Lexa’s eyes widened at Clarke’s words. “I..I could never..kill you.”

 

“Even after everything I told you?” Clarke asked, heavy tears started rolling down her cheeks again. “I’m a damn monster Lexa. I deserve to be put down like the animal I am.”

 

“No.” Lexa said firmly. “Clarke, you are _not_  an animal. I don’t care what you saw.” She said, getting up and walking to kneel down infront of the chained girl. “You lost control..that wasn’t you fault. You tried to save your friend...there was nothing you could do...You protect innocent people when you killed Finn. You protected me.”

 

“But-”

 

“But nothing.” Lexa whispered as she started to unchain her.

 

“Lex..d-don’t..I-” Tears fell faster as the chains came undone, until the last one was clipped free from her body.

 

“Shh.” Lexa whispered softly as she pulled the girl into her arms. Clarke was stiff for a moment, before she relaxed. It took another moment before Lexa felt the girl’s arm wrap around her and her fist tighten in Lexa’s shirt. She stroked the girl’s back up and down as she sobbed.

 

“H-how can you still look at me...e-even after everything I’ve done…” Clarke sobbed.

 

“Because Clarke...I love you too much to not forgive. We both have done unimaginable things. If you forgive me, then I’ll forgive you.” She said softly. Clarke looked up at sad green eyes.

 

“I...forgive you..” Clarke whispered.

 

“And I forgive you.” Lexa said with a soft smile, meaning every word. Clarke laid her head back on her shoulder as Lexa rocked them.

 

“Lex..?” Clarke asked softly.

 

“Hmm?”

  
“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Alright there's a lot of hate on Raven in the story, and I'm just letting you know right now that in the show I actually really love Raven. She's a strong character. I just feel that I had to write Raven like this because it fits the story.
> 
> This story literally wrote itself tbh. I'm not to sure I like it. I mean, the first half of it was really good in my opinion, then after that idk what happened with my mind lol. Half of what's in the story wasn't even really planned. I just typed and there it was lol.
> 
> Oh and could anyone spot the "Wolf's Rain" reference? ;)


End file.
